Happy New Year

I pray that 2006 will be filled with great blessings and a deep closeness to our Maker and King. Praise Him!
I brought in the New Year with some of the BoB (3 members missing...sniff, sniff)and some other wonderful Christians at North Toronto.
Tonight was one of the most free times I've had during worship. I still struggle with pretending others aren't around, or not worrying about what others may think. I was able to go to the back of the church, where there is a large open area, and just dance. I danced, mainly with my scarf (which to me was symbolizing the Holy Spirit) and it was quite liberating.
Worship is so beautiful. We get to worship God. A lot of times I take that for granted, but what an incredible opportunity.
The other night our family was having a worship session in our living room - Josh on piano, Joel on guitar, dad on cornet, mom and I on jimbwe, Crystal on the rain stick, and it took my breath away. I am so blessed.

I know that some people think that I emit this persona that I've got it all together. That I don't really need anyone. That I am super confidant in who I am and that I have everything I want.
The truth of the matter is this - I am a broken person, desperate for reconciliation with the Father. I stand in awe of Him who covers me with grace and allows me into His presence time and time again.


"Surrender" by Marc James

I'm giving You my heart
And all that is within
I lay it all down
For the sake of You my King
I'm giving up my dreams,
I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride,
For the promise of new life

And I surrender
All to You, all to You
And I surrender
All to You, all to You

I'm singing You this song,
I'm waiting at the cross
All the world holds dear,
I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You,
For the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy,
Even sharing in Your pain

Honey to my Soul

Something that I have learnt is that if my prayer life suffers - my spiritual life suffers. I've been reading my bible regularly, and that's great, but prayer is so important. It's what keeps you connected to your Maker.
When I am being honest with God and talking to Him regularly, my life feels so much more on track, and that's an understatement.
I had a good prayer time today. I was so hungry for His presence.
Sometimes I feel like the love that I have for God is so intense, that I feel like I might explode. I fell to my knees, crying, and worshipping.
I usually begin my prayer times in worship and adoration. Just telling God who He is. I sit on that until my heart starts stirring (some days take longer than others), because it is only from there - a broken and soft heart - that I like to intercede for others, because it is only there that I feel my heart is truly in the right place.
The love that God has for His children is so pure, so powerful, it's unexplainable. I usually end up in tears because my body just doesn't know how to handle it.
His love is like honey to my soul.
I encourage you - if your prayer life is suffering, or dry, do whatever it takes to make time to talk to God. It is so worth it.

PTL - H! (Sorry, that's an inside :P)

the Light

Worship Immanuel - God is with us.
Let us welcome the Light into the dark places.




We are not celebrating Christmas until tomorrow, because our family can't all be together until then, but this morning we went to church (my parents, Joel, Crystal and myself) and it was quite lovely.
I went up to sing a song with Joel, called 'Facedown' by Phil Laegar (sorry if I mispelled that) and I fell to my knees in tears.
What an incredible thing to be able to worship the LORD. He is so beautiful. So holy. So worthy. There are no words...

Oh, come let us adore Him - Christ, the LORD.
amen.

May God grant you peace, joy and love to you and your families today. Blessings,

Oh Mother

Some interesting things since I've been "home" (although I've never actually lived in this house before...)

I forgot about my mom's eating habits. Having Crystal here with me for the holidays makes it even funnier because I get to see someone else's reactions to her diet.
My mom eats the same thing everyday
Breakfast - bagel
Lunch - cheese scone with peanut butter
Supper - (to be noted that she doesn't eat with us, but later on...at 9pm to be exact) a turtle (not a real one, the chocolate one), mounds of potatoe chips - pepper and lime, one shortbread cookie, lots of fake crab, chunks of cheese (this one does vary with what kind of cheese we have) occassionaly pretzles and around the rim of the bowl - orange slices. All of these things in the same bowl, in the same order (turtle on the bottom, then chips, etc.)
Now the funny thing is that i am not joking. She's been eating this exact same thing for over 20 years. Is that not a bit strange? My mom doesn't seem to think so. She says that everyone has their routines. She says she's healthy and disciplined.
Here's a challenge. If anyone can think of a weirder routine, bring it on. I am out to prove to my mom that this is in fact unusual. Not to be condeming or anything, but to show how completely ridiculous it is....I mean...come on!
Hahahahah.
The Ivany's - what a riot.

Other than that things have been good. I got to hang out with some Igniters tonight. Laughed so hard! It was great.
Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays :)

My Christmas Dream

I am dreaming of a Christmas...

Where Post-Modernists and Modernists can clash a cup of eggnog together.

Where Calvanists and Weslians can dine from the same Christmas log.

Where the older expressions and newer expressions of the Sally Ann can light candles together to sing 'Silent Night'.

Where Charismatics and non-Charismatics can fall to their knees, side by side and worship Immanuel.

I have a dream that the brethren can put aside our differences, loosen our clench fists of defence and embrace each other in love. Let us be ambassadors of light and hope this Christmas.

1 Peter 2:17 "Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king."

This is my Christmas dream.

My Beef with Vegetarianism

So I just realized that I am not a vegetarian.
I have been claiming to be so since about April, but coming home for the holidays and asking my mom about the free range meat (the only kind I eat...except for those rare occassions). I guess I should have clued into this before, but my dad pointed out the fact that I eat free range meat means that I am not a vegetarian.
I don't want to support companies that torture and slaughter animals in cruel ways in order to gain a profit. But I do want to encourage farmers who are actually caring for their animals and treating them justly - hence my support of free range meat. But true vegetarians obviously don't eat ANY meat. So what difference do they really make?
So here's my beef - I think that vegetarians should eat meat. Free range meat. How else are we going to let people know that we want justice for these animals? Support free range farmers. The meat is almost twice as much, but it can make a difference.

Looking back and looking forward

In looking back at the past three months, to try to wrap up what's been happening in my life...
The most concise way that I could put it is this - I am realizing more and more each and everyday who God is, and the love that He has for His children (this can be overwhelming!) and increasing my heart's capacity to love others.

Praise the Lord!

Tonight I am on my last shift of Re:cre8 for this season and then starting tomorrow I am free from schedules.
I am torn in my feelings. I am REALLY happy to be going home and spending time with friends and family, whom I love dearly, but also sad that I am leaving my 'family' here. 614 Van, you will be in my heart over the holidays.
And to all the Aussies who are staying in the DTES - have an AMAZING Canadian Christmas.May the Lord bless you deeply as you are far from your families.

Oh, and I am bringing someone home for Christmas with me. I am honoured to have THE Crystal Myers come to my home to celebrate the holidays with my family. Love you girl!!!

Woah...that's trippy

One of the things I absolutely love about 614 Vancouver is their philosophy on children in the church.
They do not believe that kids are the future of the church.
What do you think?
Maybe some of you are scratching your heads.
They believe that kids aren't the future church, they are part of the church right now.
They always encourage the kids to pray over adults etc and encourage them in their gifts.
Well this week I had one of my first experiences of being truly wowed by the powerful working of the Holy Spirit through a child.
We were at kneedrill (Thursday night prayer meeting/worship) and we were at the time of worship when music is playing and we're just soaking up what God is doing. Some of us were lying down, some kneeling, some standing etc.
All of the sudden I had this vision in my head - I was dancing (gracefully...not hip hop) with a scarf, or a flag or somethinng, going around the room (I assumed as symbolism of the Holy Spirit's rest - the theme of the night). I was just about to go ask one of the leaders if there were any of those things in the room that I could use. Suddenly Jeni took the mic and said "I feel like God is wanting to wave a banner over us, almost like flags..."
COOL - I love confirmation :)
So I told Jeni (nobody else knew) and we went to find something. I found a white sheet. As Jeni and I were looking, Melinda came up to Jeni and said "Guess what, JUST before you said that, Serene (her 5 year old daughter)turned to me and said 'Mommy, we forgot the flags! Jesus wants us to wave them over people tonight'."
Isn't that insane?!?
So in my mind I was like - okay, maybe it was suppose to be Serene who was dancing and not me. So I went up to Serene, and before I could even ask her if she knew what she was going to do, she took the sheet and started moving around the room, drapping the sheet, or waving it over people. I went to lie down, waiting to receive my blessing from it too. She came over and it was beautiful.
Two minutes later she comes up to me, holds out the sheet and says with a straight face "It's your turn". I did hear right! God did want me to dance and wave a flag/sheet around. And this was confirmed through a 5 year old.
Sooooooooooooooo trippy. I love it. It was amazing.
God is so good.
I encourage you to bless and encourage the children of your congregation. God is using them in big ways, lets mobilize them by stepping back :P

the Church

I heard someone say this and it's stuck with me (it's paraphrased).


As the church, we should NOT be teaching on how to be good Christians, but rather on how to be Jesus.





( I can just hear the "Ooooooooooooo"s )

Heroine Users

For anyone who actually lives in the DTES, you will know these signs well.
"HEROINE USERS"
This is a program that offers people free heroine in exchange for them pretty much to be guinea pigs. They are testing and comparing methadone and heroine, overdose limits, ramifications of mixing etc. Pretty much they are drug pushers looking to exploit addicts. Can you tell that I have a biased opinion?
These posters are the ones that have the phone numbers dangling at the bottom that you can tear off.
I have been tearing these down left, right and centre since I've been here.
I don't know if these people have caught on, but it seems like there is an explosion of them now. I was walking home from lunch at the Harbour Light, through the back alley to my hotel, and in that distance (roughly the distance of a block) I tore down 6 posters. When I got to my hotel, there was another one there, then I looked up and saw another one.
Grrrrrr! This makes me so mad. In a small way, I guess it shows me that they are trying hard because people must not be coming to them at the rate that they expected (probably because some little activist is tearing them all down :P).

This is such an interesting place to be. There is so much in my day that I absolutely love. I've been doing my rations/devotions at Re:Cre8 in the mornings, just so that I can say hi to that many faces and getting to know my neighbours more. I love the community here.
I do get incredibly upset and saddened by so much here though. I hate the feeling of helplesness. Last night I saw a man in a very dangerous place - about to have 'something' happen to him. He was being pinned to the wall by this big tough guy and looked completely terrified. I just kept praying and praying as I walked away, because I was all by myself.
I hear people getting hit and women screaming in my hotel. We try to call the police, who are pretty much in our hotel daily, but I never really feel reassured that they are safe.

So much to take in everyday. The tears are flowing now though. For anyone who read a couple of blogs ago. God is daily softening my heart, and my love for this community is growing strongly.

Please pray for the DTES and for all the people here. That we may be able to see the Kingdom of God at work here. That we would chose to see where the Holy Spirit is moving and join Him. Please pray that we would not be so neglectful as to ignore all the beauty that is here.
Blessings!