The Balance

Tonight I went to the evening service at Cariboo Hill Corps and heard a strong word from the LORD.
Michael Collins was talking about evangelism and our responsibility here on earth. The passage was the end of John 15 and the beginning of 16. The world will hate us etc. So some things surfaced, like fear of man etc. And fortunately the way that Collins preaches is interactive, so I actually put my hand up and asked a question.
"What do you do when you're not afraid of talking about Jesus, per se, but more afraid that you will mess it up and then turn that person off from Jesus?"
To make a long story short - I need to trust that Jesus is LORD and trust the Sovereignty of Yahweh. He is much bigger than any mistakes that I make. If I try to witness to someone, and because I am not perfect mess it up or whatever, that it won't be my fault if they go to hell. Does that make sense?
I was at the mercy seat weeping for the lost, and my prayer is that I would find that balance. I walk around my neighbourhood, or SFU or wherever and I know that people are on their way to either heaven or hell and shame on me if I don't do anything about it. BUT I am also not Saviour and I need to rest in His Sovereignty.
I think it was back at Camp Allegheny I was talking to either Tim or Jamie Miller about finding the balance in my life and they said something that really stuck with me. I am paraphrasing but in essence: "It's not about finding the balance and staying there, it's about the wrestle. God made it that way so that we are in constant need of communication with him. We're in relationship with Him and we'll always have to wrestle with the LORD in finding truth."
I pray that I would always "wrestle" with evangelism - that I would always check my heart and motives, the desire to do all that I can do to win the world for Jesus one person at a time, and also in recognizing that it's not by anything other than the POWER of God that will do that.