Sometimes it rains on the inside

Some things on my mind today...

On Monday morning I went to Re:Cre8 (coffee ministry) for breakfast to get a cup of coffee and do my rations, and I saw a woman named Nora. Her face was bruised up and she said that the day before she had been thrown out of a moving car. She said she could use all the prayers that she could get, so I offered to pray with her. She was almost in tears and as she got up she kissed me on the forehead. It was a blessing indeed.


I was walking around my neighbourhood and in the amount of an hour three different me said "Hey good looking", "Hey mommy", and "Hey baby". There was actually a time in my life that I found that kind of language flattering. It definately doesn't have the same affect on me anymore. The Lord is changing my heart. When that guy said "hey baby" I responded with (although I was walking ahead when I said this so I don't know if he heard me or not) "Baby? That's not my name!" I wasn't trying to be funny or cheeky.


On my prayer walk yesterday I saw such despair. I was walking through an alley and I saw someone with their pants rolled up and they were shooting up into the back of their knee. A few steps further I saw one man injecting a needle into another man's neck. I couldn't think of a more uncomfortable or awkward situation, let alone sharing needles, and in a filthy alleyway. BUT it did make me wonder - these addicts are so faithful to their addiction, that they are willing to do whatever it takes. Am I more addicted to Jesus than someone looking for a fix. Am I willing to be incredibly uncomfortable, dirty, whatever it takes, for the Kingdom of God ...


I am also feeling pretty lonely today. I have a bad cough, but I am not sure that's why I am feeling blue. I am trying to figure out how to handle the situation. Do I tell someone who is close by how I am feeling? Or would that be like having a pity party? Do I pretend that I am not lonely? Do I embrace my humanity, knowing that I am not perfect and everyone gets lonely sometimes? Do I identify with Jesus and the times that He felt lonely? Or perhaps I should feel bad that I am being so selfish in recognizing my loneliness and not thus reflecting too much on myself.


Just some thoughts in my head today